When we were young, we were taught that there was a right and a wrong. We were taught that if we were “good” than we would get love and if we were bad then we would suffer. This black and white thinking creates a love that is conditional, judmental and not real. We start to believe that we must compromise our TRUE feelings in order to make others happy, to stay safe, to be loved and accepted by our parents who at the time we also believe to be GOD.

Because we believed this is how it worked with our parents, we also start to believe that this is how life works to but the truth is it does not. We make our own realities but first we must heal this old way of opporating.

Here is the issue . . . we start to ignore our authentic feelings for the sake of fitting in, keeping the peace and to have some sense of control. “if I am good, If I do what I am told then I will be safe, loved and life will be easier”. WRONG! Many of us, espeically the Indigo children and those of us who have a very strong sense of self and purpose were also born into families that are not “like us”. We are the ones who came here to lead in a different way and we are the ones who will more than likely stand alone to honor our truth. But first, we need to learn how!

The trap we can get stuck into is the “ideal” life trap. We decide early on that if we have the perfect body, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect job or career, car, house ect ect that we will be safe, accepted, successful and more than that we think that our “pain” will go away because now we are “ENOUGH”. News flash . . . this is the opposite of true. Our pain will increase because now, you have all of these wonderful “validations” and you still feel everything that you feel. NOW what??

We look towards the ideal because it “looks” pretty and that is the image we were told would make us happy, fullfilled and successful. In my experience, I see that many times when we are striving for the ideal we are starving ourselves from what is real. To live inside an image is to be void of your truth. It takes courage to be who you are in this world but there is also nothing more inspiriting. To own your truth, all of your feelings, your pains, your joys, your unique style is the most beautiful thing about being YOU, infact it is what makes you, YOU!

I am writing this blog to encourage people to “live their truth”. The ideal is not the real! When we shape our lives to fit this image we are also disconnecting from the source, spirit, universe, GOD. we are disconnecting becasue we are rejecting what we really are out of fear. This fear of being different, being rejected, being unique and not fitting this superficial image that society has worshiped for far too long. The new ideal needs to be “authentic ideal” . . . to BE, to live FREE and to LOVE the TRUTH not the image.

When we are confident enough to show up in the world exactly as we are, we are also capable of making real change. The biggest impressions come from authentic power. When we are living in a truthful space we are also able to co-create with the higher power and step into purpose. We will never know our wholeness unless we live inside our hearts. So please, let go of the “ideal” and live your “real”.

Candace van Dell


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