Highly sensitive people need something more than traditional psychology most of the time. We are looking for Spiritual Psychology. This is what got me into this work as a highly sensitive person, because when I was younger I was always trying to find someone that could see me and really get me. I wasn’t seeing that in traditional therapy. I wasn’t seeing that in the traditional sense of really anything.
So, the first thing to say is if you watch my videos you know I’m really big on understanding and explaining why highly sensitive people grow up feeling really unseen, misunderstood, different. It’s because you are experiencing the world in a different way. You’re experiencing everyone else’s emotion. You’re experiencing a lot of things that you don’t have words for and it’s very frustrating as you’re growing up. I know that first hand.
When I was in high school searching for something deeper than just understanding psychology, I really geared towards holistic thought and spirituality. I really wanted to combine spirituality and psychology and that’s why I ended up teaching Spiritual Psychology. Thank God I could find that! It wasn’t out for a lot of years and finally I found it about seven or eight years ago.
Here’s what we’re missing in traditional psychology. We’re missing the authentic threat. We’re missing that understanding of who we truly are authentically and accepted and loved for that. In my opinion, it’s what would prevent a lot of the issues people fall into, a lot of the addictions, a lot of the sabotages, and a lot of the external seeking. But because we were not raised in unconditional love. It’s actually very conditional environment that we’re raised in at home, and in school, and in society. We were taught that who we truly are was not okay. We’re taught that there’s things about us that needs to be change. We’re taught that there’s something missing. We’re not enough. We’re taught that we are not acceptable as we are.
So when this happens, we developed this false identification. We developed these weird limiting ideas. And I say they’re weird, because this is what leads us to our issue. This is what leads us to our wounds. This is what leads us to thinking something about me that is not okay. This is what leads to thinking that some authority outside of me knows me better than I know me or knows what I should be more than my own inner guidance.
What’s interesting is… I was one of those kids that was born really connected to that inner guidance. I was reminded the other day what my mom was telling me. When I was an actress, I was almost like limiting my own success level, because I was deeply afraid of losing myself. I didn’t want anyone to tell me I couldn’t be me. I didn’t want to constantly be these characters that were not in alignment with me. And so, I noticed looking back at how I would fight certain relationships in my life that did want me to be different or felt like it might not be supportive of my authenticity.
Now that I have more skills, I probably would have sabotaged some of those things that would have just chosen differently. We don’t know if this is a pull towards our authentic self or this abandonment of self. And so a lot of people get into these habits in life, eating disorders, addictions, things to escape the feelings of not being okay with being who we are or not being enough or being afraid of not being accepted.
So, we create these perfect images, these body dimorphic disorders to make ourselves something other than who we are. We are so deathly afraid that we won’t be excepted as we are.
My work as a spiritual coach who studied Spiritual Psychology is to help people understand that as we reclaim are truth and our true selves, as we go through all the reasons why we let that go and bought into the misbelief that it wasn’t okay in the first place, we were able to see ourselves as we truly are, love ourselves as we truly are, we then start having the courage to be who we truly are in the world and see that others accept and love it and see it too. This is where our healing takes place.
Spiritual Psychology is really understanding the soul, understanding that the authentic self is what needs to be reclaimed. The authentic self is the reason why we feel sick, because the loss of itself and we are looking so much outside of ourselves and we are really giving our power away to all these things. When we really start to take it back even though it’s scary as shit sometimes, because we’ve been taught that if we’re totally true to who we are, we won’t be loved. We won’t be accepted by the whole. The truth is, those people that are conforming, that aren’t accepting, that are telling you that you need to be different than you are, are projecting their own beliefs about needing something different than they are.
I tell all my clients in the beginning about this journey. When you start, figure out who your authentic self is because it’s probably so buried or disconnected. When you really figure out what that is or what that feels like, you realize that you need to live that at all cost because the pain that you’re experiencing is because you’re disconnected from self and continuing that pattern.
When we start reconnecting with self and living in alignment without strong boundaries, realizing whose allowing that and whose not in our lives, we really have some helpful self-care structures in our lives to really support this authentic self, which is when we start to heal a lot of these patterns, a lot of these, let’s say, symptoms of disorders, addictions, things like these. This is my opinion. This is what I’ve seen over and over and over with my work.
If you’re one of these highly sensitive people or people in general who feel like therapy isn’t really getting to the root cause, it’s probably because your therapy isn’t telling you… “I see you exactly as you are and you’re amazing.” This is why you’re having these issues. You can heal your issues through yourself with support for your authentic self.