Boundaries for Empaths
I did a video quite a while ago called, The Dark Side of Being a Light Worker. This is kind of phase 2 of that video. In that video, I talked a lot about scapegoat. And about being the one who gets blamed for everything in your family and why light workers have a lot of dark things to go through to shed the light on these subjects for not only yourself, but your family, in your collective or what I would call the “Tribal Wounds”.
This video is really about how empaths have one of the biggest issues that they don’t even know about. Empath, light worker, a highly sensitive person… it doesn’t really matter. For some reason, empaths who feel other people’s stuff or take on other people’s energy as sponges go through one very big issue if they don’t have strong boundaries. I’m going to explain it in this video and what to do about it.
I’ve been doing this work for quite a while and my biggest credential is being the wounded healer. This was one of my biggest issues when I was a kid and even when I started coaching years ago. I still had this issue, because I didn’t recognize what was going on.
If empaths don’t have boundaries, we take on the energy of others and not only the energy, but the vibration of others if we don’t properly clear.
If we don’t properly clear space or energy, if we don’t do a whole lot of self-care, we can take on a negative vibration from someone else. Specifically, someone toxic, or someone going through something very tough or very heavy emotionally. We can take it on in a way to relieve them. That sort of energetic codependency I talked about sometimes. But we take it on to either relieve them so they can feel better, so we can feel better or so they can feel better and then we feel like… WOW! We did good work in the world.
But because we don’t have a boundary, we don’t even know we’re taking it on. What it starts to feel like it’s definitely a lower energy and definitely like a depression or anxiety type feeling, but we forget that it’s probably not ours. So, we’re like… WOW! What’s going on? What’s happening in my life? What do I need to change? Who am I? Where did I go? I just don’t feel right. I don’t feel seen.
You’re literally hiding behind all the stuff you’ve taken on from someone else. You know what I’m talking about if you’re an empath. If you’re a true empath, you’ve had this pattern probably most your life. Where you take on the energy of others and sometimes act it out, because you just don’t know what to do with it. It feels so bad and you forget it’s not yours, it’s someone else’s. And you take it on and you act it out or you take it on and you get sick. And you feel like you’re losing yourself, because you can’t see yourself past someone else emotions.
These are the signs that your boundaries are not strong right now or that you’ve let them go or you’ve forgotten about them for a minute. And so what we need to do is be really strong. When we’re about to be around someone or about to have a bunch of clients or about to have an experience with a bunch of people like a collective energy, we need to make sure that you need to be rooted and grounded in yourself. You need to be really into the self-care regimen before any of these kinds of situations.
Now you’re probably asking me… What if I find myself in one of these situations and I don’t know the person’s toxic? Totally makes sense. That happens to me all the time. What a lot of empaths do is we almost give up ourselves and become all mostly present for the other person. So we kind of leave our own energy and our own power in the present. But you must become very conscious of you in the present moment, so you can hold for that person not give yourself over for that person, right?
It’s like the energetic codependency. You want to hold for the person so the other person can actually clear, but you’re not taking it on. Or the other person can just express and be free, but it doesn’t go and stick to you and then you feel like shit and they feel better, which happens to a lot of new coaches and new healers.
We take on everybody’s stuff and it feels really good in one session, but you leave at the end of the week in your life saying, what’s happening to my life? What’s happening to my body? So, boundaries you guys. Staying present. Reminding yourself that you can still connect, but you don’t have to literally go into their emotion.
I can hold into my own emotion and have a space that’s open to share rather than leaving my freaking self and going into someone else’s energy field and then having all their stuff stick to you and they feel better.
There are a lot of people coming to me saying, I’m forgetting who I am. I’m feeling this heavy energy. This collective consciousness. I don’t even know that it’s that, but I know that it’s that. And this heavier energy because you are not only taking on other people, but you’re taking on all the stuff that’s happening in astrology, in the universe, around you, in your environment and community.
And so when we take that on because we’re feelers and healers, we have to know how to transmute it and my best tool is a boundary. Realizing what it is by really knowing who you are, by really having that self-care dialed in to the point where you know exactly how you feel and what is yours and what isn’t yours.
When it comes into your field instead of taking it on and then forgetting who you are and feeling weird and not knowing why, it’s noticing what’s coming into your energy field. Who is around? What were they talking about? Was I totally grounded in myself? Probably not.
So something to think about just a little tip for you guys today.
I hope you have a great week.