Hello beautiful tribe,
Let’s talk about BOUNDARIES shall we? I released a new video today called, TRAUMA BOND: Addiction or Projection here.
In this video, I talk about a new perspective I have discovered on the subject. A trauma bond is when we are bonded to the person who is manipulating us or abusing us because we believe we need them for our survival. It is also when you bond over a trauma you have not yet healed. These cycles look intense, there is withdrawal symptoms. You cannot heal them with time, only trauma work!!
So in this video, I offer the perspective of projection so that we can see where we may have more power and control over this experience after all.
After you watch this video, you will see that BOUNDARIES are the key to not entering these relationships in the first place, but also our boundaries are what will help us grow in self love so that we can have the discernment to leave or to recognize the feelings that are associated with unhealthy relationships in the first place. For this reason, please be the first to know about my BOUNDARIES BOOTCAMP COURSE LAUNCH.
Boundaries are the safety within that many of us were never allowed to own. Many of our boundaries were broken early on and many of us got the message that “To be in our power is to get rejected, left alone, ostracized, abused and abandoned.” We learned to abandon our boundaries in order to survive. What many of my clients are coming into now is the awareness that the opposite is now true. Without our boundaries, we truly won’t survive, at least not a healthy or happy existence.
To claim your boundaries means to live in alignment with what you need, feel and want regardless of the opinions of others.
I will be doing an OPINION DETOX next week on Instagram, so I hope you will join me 😉 @Candace van Dell
When we care more about others’ opinions than our own boundaries, we are in trouble. We think that we are safe as long as we live in alignment with OTHERS… But this is why we lose ourselves and have uncertain identities.
Our identity and our purpose only becomes clear when we live in alignment with our boundaries. If you lose yourself or leave yourself, you are more lonely than if anyone else does this to you. The inner child still thinks that we need others for our survival. We need them because we are human and we need socializing and connection… BUT we need the connection to ourselves far more than anything else.
I hope this message finds you well. I love you guys and honor you for doing THE WORK. Also stay tuned as we will be offering our group coaching again in 2022! I am excited for the revamp and relaunch.