Hello beautiful community,
Let’s talk about codependency. Many people don’t like that word. Personally, I don’t like any label, but I do find it helpful to pick things out that may describe symptoms we have for better self-awareness.
As highly sensitive people, most of us find ourselves falling into some of these traits UNTIL we do the inner work. In my latest video, I explain the traits, a phrase I often ask people to check in with, and also two ways to heal this behavioral pattern once and for all.
If you think you may be in a codependent relationship, ask yourself this. Am I a people pleaser, perfectionist, in denial of my own needs, feelings and possible addictions? Do I struggle with low self-esteem, knowing what I want or deserve? Do I experience guilt, intimacy issues, dependency, dysfunctional communication, or painful emotions such as fear, anxiety, hopelessness? Do I try to control others or life? Do I have issues with boundaries? Do I depend on undependable people?
What does that mean? It means that we put our trust and our hearts in people who are not actually safe or secure, whether it be emotionally, financially, physically, or mentally. We do this because of a deep fear of “Loneliness”. We think it is best to attach quickly and not be alone, no matter if the love feels consistent or not.
Why do we do this? Because we grew up feeling misunderstood, maybe bullied in school, maybe uncertain of our own identity with a parent who was not around, an addict, or simply did not have emotional validation for us.
We are USED to the people who are present but inconsistent and not safe in some way. We think to attract these types due to our emotional imprint and then we think we will get a different result SO THAT we can finally heal the original wound.
This never happens though. It never happens because the Universe knows that in order to truly heal, we need to depend on ourselves and our higher power. The ONLY dependable force in this universe is God/ Universe and ourselves. When we learn to turn that attention, projections, and shadow inside out, we can start to develop self-trust and a secure life on our own terms.
This work is not easy, but it is worth it. When we can hang in there with the withdrawals of a relationship. When we can do the counter-intuitive thing and care for ourselves when we feel like doing anything but that. This is when we come home to a consistent caregiver within. As we care for ourselves, we can start to awaken our highest purpose!
For more on this, please check out my latest video:
10 Traits of Codependency
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